I'd Rather Be With Her

My wife has been away for a few days for training for the Disney Mom's panel. I was very excited when she made it onto the panel and am very proud of her as well. We've been apart before, we both travel fairly regularly for work, but for some reason this time is different. Sure I always miss her a little when we are apart, but something about this time is different.

Part of it is all the really cool stuff she is getting to do at Disney right now, the kinds of things most people never get to do. So yeah, I'm jealous, quite jealous, but very proud and happy for her at the same time. I know she's really enjoying herself and hope I'm not bugging her too much when I ask for updates.

I think a bigger part of it is that I've been working crazy hours lately at work on a project that is suffering from severe scope creep and denial of that scope creep. We hardly get to see each other during the week and on weekends we get so busy trying to keep up with things around the house we haven't made time for each other. Combining the hours at work with her not being here at all right now is really getting to me and I'm really looking forward to picking her up at the airport tomorrow night.

That's not all though, its not really what's behind my feeling the way I feel right now. I've let myself get into the never ending trap of long hours at work chasing an impossible moving target so it's my fault that we haven't had time for each other lately. I've been trying to keep myself coming home at a reasonable time lately, but I'm not very good at it, I tend to want to keep going until I'm done fixing a particular issue.

Unfortunately my company decided to have their Christmas party in the middle of the week this year, and it is a 3 hour drive away. She has to work and the kids have school so they won't be coming with me to it, and I'll be stuck there overnight. Shortly after she gets back I'll have to leave and spend the night away, something I really don't want to do. I've never really been a fan of company holiday parties. I've been to some really good ones, but this time of year I just don't have the extra time or energy. At least it is only for one night and I will have almost the rest of the year off.

I'm really not one of those people that can't deal with not seeing my wife every day, I would even get annoyed with her if she called me as often as some people call their spouses during the day. This trip has definitely reminded me just how much she means to me though. I know I'd rather be with her living in a cardboard box than living alone in a mansion.